So earlier this week I had this test, a 24-hour EEG. The purpose of this test is to record what’s going on in my brain for a full 24 hours to see if there’s anything funky happening…some may argue that we’ve already known that this is the case for quite some time.

Anyhoo, for this test, I was instructed to go to this little medical office in a big office park and get about a dozen or so electrodes stuck to my head and chest, all of which were then connected to a wire that hung down the back of my neck and plugged into a little 3-pound computer/old school walkman/doohickey fanny pack… too bad those didn’t survive the 80’s because it’s such a good look.

After the electrodes are stuck to me with great precision by the tech (who did not care for my jokes nor my idea that he should open a combo electrode/hair highlighting salon), he wrapped about 17 yards of gauze around my head so tightly that I considered swimming (if I hadn’t been strictly warned not submerse myself in water) across the English channel in celebration of such a wonderfully customized air-tight bathing cap.

After about 45 minutes when I was fully wired, and the computer thingy acknowledged that I was charged up, connected and being recorded, I was ready to go. I threw a scarf over my noggin (the brochure said to bring one and luckily I read that part) and called my husband on my cell (using the 5 minutes or less of cell phone use I was allowed for the 24 hours) to come pick me up. And as you would imagine, I laid low for the day.

But over the next 25 hours and 13 minutes before the electrodes were removed (a moment just as physically exhilarating as giving birth to a 9.4 lb baby boy after 31 hours of labor), I pondered a few possible benefits of this whole EEG thing:

1. No need to wear a watch, the computer has a clock and displays my name, which could serve as a handy ID should I wonder.

2. Maybe this will super-charge my metabolism and I won’t have to subject myself to the Baywatch (they know that’s not still on the air, right?!) Bikini Workout that I found on the “On Demand” channel this week.

3. And on that note, since the instructions say I should definitely NOT stand near an open flame, no temptation to eat high-calorie S’mores.

4. There’s no telling how much better I’ll be at the robot dance after this (I can’t take credit for that one, that was my sassy gal Michelle’s suggestion).

5. You can’t get more low-maintenance than gauze hair.

6. This totally justifies the cost of that cute little tie-dyed sarong I bought in Jamaica on our honeymoon. Who knew it would come in handy for neurological-testing-head-coverage purposes all these years later.

7. I’m guessing I can get through the checkout line at Stop & Save much faster and get a bulk discount on batteries if I fill my cart with AA’s and go running and panting to the express line yelling, “Quick!!! I’m losing power!! I’m losing power!!!!!”

8. Maybe the results will shed some light on why I failed chemistry and barely passed Algebra in high school.

9. If I slip the tech a $20 maybe he’d upgrade me to “Bionic”…if he weren’t too young to know who Jaime Sommers was.

10. I could reeeeally mess with people at the school bus stop in the morning:

Neighbor: “Sooooo Jen, what’s on tap for today?”

Me: (in a robotic voice), “Whatever-my-Earth-leader-tells-me-to-do.”

So all in all, it’s not so bad being electric….boogey woogey woogey.